Sunday, December 21, 2008


i thought of putting up smthng here..

"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask."

jim morrison

don hv nything else to say now

Monday, November 10, 2008

a BReak!

“C’mon! Gimme a break.
Yet again u keep on slogging and asking for a break. Whos going to come and give you those break, which you crave for every now and den.
By break I obviously don mean momentarily breaks but the break from monotonous race to beat others, to be always at the forefront. To be Ahead!
Is der any way where we can relax and do things, which we want to do unmindful of the results (productive or unproductive) it is going to bear in the end?
Not that anyone can stop us from pursuing it but the shear fear of the unproductiveness and futility of the whole job makes it sound relegate. There’s no time to waste and still so much of time to kill feigning its productiveness. The moment you think you have achieved what you’ve been working for, u realize others have already surpassed you and have left one more milestone to cover and the journey continues.
Someone is moving very fast, but whos this someone.
Is this race a real one or m I jus running alone. Trying to catch up with the never-ending desires of my mind, whos dictating my moves and ordering me to run. I wonder if we have different ambitions or each one of us is just trying to jus RUN.
Is being ambitious is to mean never giving up or rather I should put it as, never asking for a break. Is being ambitious always relative.
(Too many questions…I think I need a break here. Yes! I mean the momentary one )

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

And the wall came down!

And the wall came down!
What defines success?
The ultimate destination or the path taken..
It’s placement season in our campus and fortunately most of us got a job( not the dream jobs as dey call it, prolly got this name coz huge possessions define dreams here).
Fair enough, some people got handsome packages and some still thriving to get one (m amongst dem!)
Sat for like six odd companies already and still waiting for my lucky day to come..
Does that mean I lack the substance, or does it mean those who got thru just got lucky, coz no matter how much I try I don’t see most of dem (fortunately not all of dem) better den me..(Mite sound a bit candid!)
But whose going to believe dis. After all dey got the jobs not me. They have reached the destination earlier, whatever may be the path taken!
It seems the wall which I thought will keep me at bay with these covertly talented people is just crumbling down. I don’t know what is making me feel more sick the crumbling of wall (obviously the construction material for the wall is me:me:me(2:4:8)..cant help it studying hard for the placements..!)..or the BIG REJECTIONS!
Whatever it may be, I think I still have a long way to cover, the path is going to get lonelier but as it is rightly said…if its not killing you it’s making you stronger. I hope I become stronger with every setback I face coz I don want the wall to crumble down..!

Monday, September 8, 2008



A very positive word indeed..

Wanted to write one of those hyperbolical blogs, full of wisdom and poetic verses. After all it feels nice to show the world how language savvy and learned u r..

APPROVAL isn’t this we look for every now and then.

Be it the way you say or do things every thing has the same reason behind it ,the more you have the merrier life becomes.

May be because, that is what we have been taught right from the day one of the kindergarten. One should be socially acceptable. One should seek appreciation n obviously one should slog hard for the same.

Obviously, ders nothing wrong with that but isn’t it kind of abstruse why others have so much of say in our lives. How can they decide what is right or what is wrong, How can they guide our deeds. Why self-approval is so implicit and missing from our lives.

Who defines these standards to approve or disapprove anything? Isn’t self-approval enough to endorse whatever we do.

Is success defined in terms of token of acknowledgement we have collected..

Don’t know, think ders very little of self in all of us and the more u become successful the greedier u become for the APPROVAL!

(Anyway feel free to drop in ur comments. No offence intended!J)

Thursday, July 3, 2008


Each one of us has different benchmark to put us into the state of being happy or not! Rightly said “its more or less jus the change in u”.
Donnow y I m defining this term here n y I have chosen this term as my topic but the first thing tht comes to my mind every time I think about the incident m going to share in this blog is HAPPINESS.
Recently, been to Mumbai for my summer training...experience was awesome not just in terms of what I learnt professionally but also in terms of how I grew personally.

Learnt how to travel by bus n local trains!
Might sound very trivial but trust me its NOT. I am not just talking about the physical exhaustion traveling takes but also the psychological one. It’s difficult to accept u don care for Ur status. May be m still a student and may be I cant even afford now to own a car of mine but still I don mind showing people how filthy rich I m and what all luxuries I can afford(obviously dad’s gonna pay)..
Anyway citing the experience …wen I started of with my training it was relie difficult and embarrassing for me to everyday board a bus and travel for one and a half hour of agonizing and unbearable journey to IIT campus from BARC...I thought its better to take an auto and pay may be ten times more!!Atleast convenience is der (lemme confess it the time gap is hardly fifteen min for both of dem)...Whatever wen u see all the SUVs and luxury cars being driven by SMART and GUD LOOKING people of ur age from the small window of Ur bus u ought to feel that way (at least tht will suffice ur mental exhaustion assuring that dude! U too can afford tht)… but still I continued with BUS..!(Donnow y!) Two weeks went by with the same altercation going on in my mind between my status and the status of the people I was traveling with (no offence intended.. Thts the truth!!)
But den one day while my ORDEAL (yea this is what I considered it) one family boarded the bus...Mom, pop and two lil children ( 2-4 yrs)..Nothings different for me. I still appreciated the black BMW I saw rolling past before me from my window..
The family made themselves comfortable. Two kids on one seat before mine. And the mommy sitting next to dem instructing not to take der hands out and all! The daddy was busy paying ticket fares...Whtevr EVERTHINGS still the same for me. But then gradually I noticed something. Those kids were enjoying themselves thoroughly. Was a bit surprising for me... (I mean how can anyone enjoy bus ride...Tht too without an AC and gud music)...And the parents were overwhelmed to see der kids happy. Can such mode of transportation could be anybody’s reason to be happy? Mommy was busy telling her kids how huge that building is and how fast that car is running &. Daddy looked so swollen with pride to make his kids HAPPY.
I was amazed and was kind of feeling pity for myself (relie I was!). Something that means so much of fun and bliss for someone is a source of an ORDEAL for me..!Is my benchmark for happiness so high to be reached..?Y m I not so happy as they are... What is so different for them..
I could only think of one answer that may be sometimes big flamboyant things in life take away the austerity of every things else. Stature lies in Ur head and may be not completely in your flamboyant flashy lifestyle u carry with your money!!
After four weeks of bus I den switched to local trains for a new lesson of HAPPINESS!!(J)..But i still DON mind driving a car of my own(:))