Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Art Of Saying No

I wonder what is difficult to say “YES” or “NO”

Taking things as it comes is one way of living with YES but sifting through things and saying NO to the things which we think are not sustainable, wanted or may be doesn’t feel right is more difficult job to do.

The latter requires honest analysis of our needs and differentiates it from the wants.

So what you want now may not be needed for lifetime. Though these enticing wants have the tendency to overpower the rationality sometimes and appear as illusionary needs.

There are many features I believe are associated with a want...

Instant gratification (I want to Smoke...)
Ego (I want to show it to the World…)
Social Acceptance (I want to have/be the best…)
Uncertainty ( Most of the time they manage to fake Certainty and Security)
Whimsical (Nebulous in nature/they lack precision)
And when I try to evaluate Needs they have no such taboo attached to them. They are simple and are most of the time sustainable, sturdy (this is one characteristic I really liked about a Need, they have the capability to imbibe passion in us to achieve it) and precise.

So next time when/if you have this altercation in your head if you should pursue it or leave it...

Give it a little thought before you say... YES or NO

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Paisa Paisa..!

Marriages are made in Heaven they are just brought to life on Earth. Really?
I recently have had an opportunity to witness one more beautiful life coming into existence.
I was amazed, shocked and stunned by the mode of conception though. It was a literal rape of lifelong savings of so called the facilitators (in this case parent!) and the most bemusing thing was they were more than happy to let go of it. One of the most celebrated cultural celebrations called “Marriage” suddenly looked so shallow inspite of them burning their deep pockets for it.
I have no complaints whatsoever for taking care of us so adequately offering us an accommodation in a luxurious seven star resort, booking ball room, club house, pool and inviting the best chefs to serve us day and night. Of course who would deny the sumptuousness of enjoying these A Class FREE Services?
But I was just wondering why did they unnecessarily booked ball room, club house for us (especially when the customised itinerary brochure placed next to complimentary exquisite chocolate boxes in our rooms showed packed schedule for attendees) and when more than half of the attendees were people past 45 years of age who wouldn’t even know what Ball Room Dancing is..
Neways I tried to ignore it considering myself naïve to appreciate such sophistications.
The decoration was no doubt one of the best I have seen but if they wanted to change the look of the entire place why did they even cared to pay so much for the venue. That look could have been emulated anywhere else also. Isn’t it a little weird (like asking the bride to paste a sticker of “BRIDE” so that people can make out she is meant to be treated differently).
Anyways on the THE day when all of us (other than their close relatives) had some part to play unlike the time they coaxed us modestly to be attendee in all their marriage rituals I was overwhelmed by the procession. The groom along with his coterie was welcomed with rose shower, fireworks and exotic drinks coz he had come all the way from the adjacent villas to the garden with great pomp and show. The decibels of the happiness soared so high that it literally made me deaf for a minute.
I thought it was momentary unless I realised there was a Live Band called from Videsh (relie would they know what an Indian wedding is..!) to entertain us throughout the procession.
It was kind of getting difficult to recognise people loaded with jewels and consuming make-up that I literally had to add a layer extra just to save myself from standing out( in the reverse way) in the crowd.
Then arrived the BRIDE, dazzling from head to toe with attire so heavy for her to handle that her friends and cousins had to come to save her from her self invited agony.
And finally came the moment all of us were waiting for... , our moment of Glory when we will share the same stage as them where they had been smiling incessantly to thank all the GUESTS seem to be blessing and Congratulating them.
I heard “THAANK YOU” but…
I realised I never congratulated them as I was jostled by an overexcited Aunty who seemed to be trying hard since so long to make it into their wedding ALBUM…

PS: But nevertheless I still have full faith in the institution called Marriage san the feigned display of LUXURY. Though looking forward to enjoy more such free services :P