Saturday, December 25, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
The Art Of Saying No
I wonder what is difficult to say “YES” or “NO”
Taking things as it comes is one way of living with YES but sifting through things and saying NO to the things which we think are not sustainable, wanted or may be doesn’t feel right is more difficult job to do.
The latter requires honest analysis of our needs and differentiates it from the wants.
So what you want now may not be needed for lifetime. Though these enticing wants have the tendency to overpower the rationality sometimes and appear as illusionary needs.
There are many features I believe are associated with a want...
Instant gratification (I want to Smoke...)
Ego (I want to show it to the World…)
Social Acceptance (I want to have/be the best…)
Uncertainty ( Most of the time they manage to fake Certainty and Security)
Whimsical (Nebulous in nature/they lack precision)
And when I try to evaluate Needs they have no such taboo attached to them. They are simple and are most of the time sustainable, sturdy (this is one characteristic I really liked about a Need, they have the capability to imbibe passion in us to achieve it) and precise.
So next time when/if you have this altercation in your head if you should pursue it or leave it...
Give it a little thought before you say... YES or NO
Taking things as it comes is one way of living with YES but sifting through things and saying NO to the things which we think are not sustainable, wanted or may be doesn’t feel right is more difficult job to do.
The latter requires honest analysis of our needs and differentiates it from the wants.
So what you want now may not be needed for lifetime. Though these enticing wants have the tendency to overpower the rationality sometimes and appear as illusionary needs.
There are many features I believe are associated with a want...
Instant gratification (I want to Smoke...)
Ego (I want to show it to the World…)
Social Acceptance (I want to have/be the best…)
Uncertainty ( Most of the time they manage to fake Certainty and Security)
Whimsical (Nebulous in nature/they lack precision)
And when I try to evaluate Needs they have no such taboo attached to them. They are simple and are most of the time sustainable, sturdy (this is one characteristic I really liked about a Need, they have the capability to imbibe passion in us to achieve it) and precise.
So next time when/if you have this altercation in your head if you should pursue it or leave it...
Give it a little thought before you say... YES or NO
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Paisa Paisa..!
Marriages are made in Heaven they are just brought to life on Earth. Really?
I recently have had an opportunity to witness one more beautiful life coming into existence.
I was amazed, shocked and stunned by the mode of conception though. It was a literal rape of lifelong savings of so called the facilitators (in this case parent!) and the most bemusing thing was they were more than happy to let go of it. One of the most celebrated cultural celebrations called “Marriage” suddenly looked so shallow inspite of them burning their deep pockets for it.
I have no complaints whatsoever for taking care of us so adequately offering us an accommodation in a luxurious seven star resort, booking ball room, club house, pool and inviting the best chefs to serve us day and night. Of course who would deny the sumptuousness of enjoying these A Class FREE Services?
But I was just wondering why did they unnecessarily booked ball room, club house for us (especially when the customised itinerary brochure placed next to complimentary exquisite chocolate boxes in our rooms showed packed schedule for attendees) and when more than half of the attendees were people past 45 years of age who wouldn’t even know what Ball Room Dancing is..
Neways I tried to ignore it considering myself naïve to appreciate such sophistications.
The decoration was no doubt one of the best I have seen but if they wanted to change the look of the entire place why did they even cared to pay so much for the venue. That look could have been emulated anywhere else also. Isn’t it a little weird (like asking the bride to paste a sticker of “BRIDE” so that people can make out she is meant to be treated differently).
Anyways on the THE day when all of us (other than their close relatives) had some part to play unlike the time they coaxed us modestly to be attendee in all their marriage rituals I was overwhelmed by the procession. The groom along with his coterie was welcomed with rose shower, fireworks and exotic drinks coz he had come all the way from the adjacent villas to the garden with great pomp and show. The decibels of the happiness soared so high that it literally made me deaf for a minute.
I thought it was momentary unless I realised there was a Live Band called from Videsh (relie would they know what an Indian wedding is..!) to entertain us throughout the procession.
It was kind of getting difficult to recognise people loaded with jewels and consuming make-up that I literally had to add a layer extra just to save myself from standing out( in the reverse way) in the crowd.
Then arrived the BRIDE, dazzling from head to toe with attire so heavy for her to handle that her friends and cousins had to come to save her from her self invited agony.
And finally came the moment all of us were waiting for... , our moment of Glory when we will share the same stage as them where they had been smiling incessantly to thank all the GUESTS seem to be blessing and Congratulating them.
I heard “THAANK YOU” but…
I realised I never congratulated them as I was jostled by an overexcited Aunty who seemed to be trying hard since so long to make it into their wedding ALBUM…
Uummppp…
PS: But nevertheless I still have full faith in the institution called Marriage san the feigned display of LUXURY. Though looking forward to enjoy more such free services :P
I recently have had an opportunity to witness one more beautiful life coming into existence.
I was amazed, shocked and stunned by the mode of conception though. It was a literal rape of lifelong savings of so called the facilitators (in this case parent!) and the most bemusing thing was they were more than happy to let go of it. One of the most celebrated cultural celebrations called “Marriage” suddenly looked so shallow inspite of them burning their deep pockets for it.
I have no complaints whatsoever for taking care of us so adequately offering us an accommodation in a luxurious seven star resort, booking ball room, club house, pool and inviting the best chefs to serve us day and night. Of course who would deny the sumptuousness of enjoying these A Class FREE Services?
But I was just wondering why did they unnecessarily booked ball room, club house for us (especially when the customised itinerary brochure placed next to complimentary exquisite chocolate boxes in our rooms showed packed schedule for attendees) and when more than half of the attendees were people past 45 years of age who wouldn’t even know what Ball Room Dancing is..
Neways I tried to ignore it considering myself naïve to appreciate such sophistications.
The decoration was no doubt one of the best I have seen but if they wanted to change the look of the entire place why did they even cared to pay so much for the venue. That look could have been emulated anywhere else also. Isn’t it a little weird (like asking the bride to paste a sticker of “BRIDE” so that people can make out she is meant to be treated differently).
Anyways on the THE day when all of us (other than their close relatives) had some part to play unlike the time they coaxed us modestly to be attendee in all their marriage rituals I was overwhelmed by the procession. The groom along with his coterie was welcomed with rose shower, fireworks and exotic drinks coz he had come all the way from the adjacent villas to the garden with great pomp and show. The decibels of the happiness soared so high that it literally made me deaf for a minute.
I thought it was momentary unless I realised there was a Live Band called from Videsh (relie would they know what an Indian wedding is..!) to entertain us throughout the procession.
It was kind of getting difficult to recognise people loaded with jewels and consuming make-up that I literally had to add a layer extra just to save myself from standing out( in the reverse way) in the crowd.
Then arrived the BRIDE, dazzling from head to toe with attire so heavy for her to handle that her friends and cousins had to come to save her from her self invited agony.
And finally came the moment all of us were waiting for... , our moment of Glory when we will share the same stage as them where they had been smiling incessantly to thank all the GUESTS seem to be blessing and Congratulating them.
I heard “THAANK YOU” but…
I realised I never congratulated them as I was jostled by an overexcited Aunty who seemed to be trying hard since so long to make it into their wedding ALBUM…
Uummppp…
PS: But nevertheless I still have full faith in the institution called Marriage san the feigned display of LUXURY. Though looking forward to enjoy more such free services :P
Monday, November 29, 2010
Where will you hide!
Sometimes hiding seems so difficult especially if it’s from your own self.
The ubiquity of self presence takes a toll on your desire to reason it out, no matter where ever you go the constant banging in your head harass you like a psychotic stalker ready to gouge out the last impression of ignorance left.
The ubiquity of self presence takes a toll on your desire to reason it out, no matter where ever you go the constant banging in your head harass you like a psychotic stalker ready to gouge out the last impression of ignorance left.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
36*78 feet
Yup that’s the size of a tennis court.
Just got done with an amazing book Open, autobiography of Andre Agassi.
Must tell you the book was damn addictive.
I really loved the simple, candid and honest writing style of Agassi.
He did full justice to the title of the book. Wanted to take everybody through the book through this post but I would rather suggest people to read it. Though would like to share couple of points which I have noted down for myself.
1. Pressure is how you know everything is Working
2. Control what you can Control (I fell in love with this)
3. What you feel doesn’t matter in the end; it’s what you do that makes you brave
4. At different stages I sip different versions, each a different colour. Pink for energy, red for recovery, brown for replenishment.
5. Stefanie kisses me and says nothing, because there’s nothing to say.
(Most intimate line I’ve ever read)
6. I’m calmed, grounded, inspired by watching a craftsman. It reminds me of the singular importance. in this world of a job done well.
(Respect for everybody’s work, we sure have things to learn from everybody we meet)
7. His inability to remain impartial is endlessly charming. (His father!)
8. My memory isn’t like my tennis bag; I have no say over its contents.
9. My pugnacious bride. She tries a smile but it ends up a wince. I see in her face everything she wants to say but will not let herself say. I hear every word she refuses to utter. (Love)
10. I let him think the crowd is cheering for both of us.
(For his opponent in his Last match. Confidence!)
11. Desperation the most powerful drug.
12. He hates me, and I hate him, and now we’re sneering and snarling and trying to wrest this thing from each other.(Respect)
13. That’s the definition of being rich: it doesn’t cross your mind to mention it to your best friend. And money is such a given you don’t care how you come by it.(Friendship)
14. Andre and you’ve made yours. I guess that leaves me on my own.(Friendship)
15. My father doesn’t want to limit me, or break me, or ruin me. So he’s banishing me. He’s sending me away, partly to protect me from himself.(Love)
16. He’s always been there, at my back, and now he won’t be. I feel abandoned. I thought the one thing I wanted was to be free of him, and now that he’s sending me away, I’m heartbroken.
(When he was finally going away from his father whom he always hated for making him work so much)
17. My father drives me to the airport. My mother wants to go but can’t miss a day of work.
(Responsibility!, when his mother was not even sure if he will come back in near future)
18. A win doesn’t feel as good as a loss feels bad, and the good feeling doesn’t last as long as the bad. Not even close.
19. You always try to be perfect, he says, and you always fall short, and it fucks with your head. Your confidence is shot, and perfectionism is the reason. You try to hit a winner on
Every ball, when just being steady, consistent, meat and potatoes, would be enough to win.Ninety percent of the time. You don’t have to be the best in the world every time you go out there. You just have to be better than one guy. Instead of you succeeding, make him fail.You’re making everyone around you miserable. You’re making yourself miserable. Perfection? There’s about five times a year you wake up perfect, when you can’t lose to anybody, but it’s not those five times a year that make a tennis player. Or a human being, for that matter. It’s the other times. It’s all about your head, man. With your talent, if you’re fifty percent game-wise, but ninety-five percent headwise, you’re going to win. But if you’re ninety-five percent game-wise and fifty percent headwise, you’re going to lose, lose, lose.
(Perfectionism is tiring and unnecessary all the time! His coach whom he met for the first time giving opinion on his game)
22. This contradiction between what I want to do and what I actually do, feels like the core of my life.(The biggest question )
23. Thinking, my father believes, is the source of all bad things, because thinking is the opposite of doing.
24. I loved the concept of hard work leading to sweet rewards—except when hard work meant hitting tennis balls.
25. When you know that you just took the other guy’s best punch, and you’re still standing, and the other guy knows it, you will rip the heart right out of him.(Blister on an opponent’s mind)
26. The whole place looks a lot better from a distance. What doesn’t?
27. No. Absolutely not. Help from him comes with a cost. I’m trying to break free of him.
(Dilemma to ask for help from his father)
28. To be inspired, I tell Philly—that’s the secret.
29. I don’t know. But you will. This is a momentary crisis, Andre. One of many. As sure as we’re sitting here, there will be others. Bigger, smaller, and everything in between. Treat this crisis as practice for the next crisis.(Words of Wisdom, nothing we experience goes waste, even crisis)
30. I learn about myself, create myself, through imitation. How else could I do it? (Honesty, we choose to make ourselves)
31. I’m astonished by how much they care. I’m astonished by how much I care that they get it right.(Honesty, on media)
32. How beautiful to dream. But dreams, I tell Gil, in one of our quiet moments, are so damned tiring.
33. She fixes delicious meals at night, and in the morning she packs box lunches for me to bring to the practice courts.
34. It’s not selfishness on her part, just a mistaken impression that winning is normal, losing is abnormal.(Both are normal)
35. Pride is bad, stress is good. I don’t want to feel confident. I want to feel rage. Endless, all-consuming rage.(Summer of Revenge)
36. In the long, losing struggle with myself, I’m tanking.(Incessant altercation with your own self)
37. This is the only perfection there is, the perfection of helping others
38. Love is how we grow up.
39. Decisions, especially bad ones, create their own kind of momentum, and momentum can be a bitch to stop, as every athlete knows. The minds of the everlasting gods are not changed suddenly.(To master our Momentum is all that is required)
40. It’s embarrassing, but necessary, because I don’t want to lose her, I’ve had enough losing, and I know if I’m honest she’ll give me a second chance.(Confession)
41. She says that she’s sorry I’m suffering, but she can’t solve it. She can’t fix me. I need to fix myself. By myself.(Realisation)
42. If you’re heartbroken, Gil says, don’t hide from it. Wallow in it. We hurt, he says, so let’s hurt.
Just got done with an amazing book Open, autobiography of Andre Agassi.
Must tell you the book was damn addictive.
I really loved the simple, candid and honest writing style of Agassi.
He did full justice to the title of the book. Wanted to take everybody through the book through this post but I would rather suggest people to read it. Though would like to share couple of points which I have noted down for myself.
1. Pressure is how you know everything is Working
2. Control what you can Control (I fell in love with this)
3. What you feel doesn’t matter in the end; it’s what you do that makes you brave
4. At different stages I sip different versions, each a different colour. Pink for energy, red for recovery, brown for replenishment.
5. Stefanie kisses me and says nothing, because there’s nothing to say.
(Most intimate line I’ve ever read)
6. I’m calmed, grounded, inspired by watching a craftsman. It reminds me of the singular importance. in this world of a job done well.
(Respect for everybody’s work, we sure have things to learn from everybody we meet)
7. His inability to remain impartial is endlessly charming. (His father!)
8. My memory isn’t like my tennis bag; I have no say over its contents.
9. My pugnacious bride. She tries a smile but it ends up a wince. I see in her face everything she wants to say but will not let herself say. I hear every word she refuses to utter. (Love)
10. I let him think the crowd is cheering for both of us.
(For his opponent in his Last match. Confidence!)
11. Desperation the most powerful drug.
12. He hates me, and I hate him, and now we’re sneering and snarling and trying to wrest this thing from each other.(Respect)
13. That’s the definition of being rich: it doesn’t cross your mind to mention it to your best friend. And money is such a given you don’t care how you come by it.(Friendship)
14. Andre and you’ve made yours. I guess that leaves me on my own.(Friendship)
15. My father doesn’t want to limit me, or break me, or ruin me. So he’s banishing me. He’s sending me away, partly to protect me from himself.(Love)
16. He’s always been there, at my back, and now he won’t be. I feel abandoned. I thought the one thing I wanted was to be free of him, and now that he’s sending me away, I’m heartbroken.
(When he was finally going away from his father whom he always hated for making him work so much)
17. My father drives me to the airport. My mother wants to go but can’t miss a day of work.
(Responsibility!, when his mother was not even sure if he will come back in near future)
18. A win doesn’t feel as good as a loss feels bad, and the good feeling doesn’t last as long as the bad. Not even close.
19. You always try to be perfect, he says, and you always fall short, and it fucks with your head. Your confidence is shot, and perfectionism is the reason. You try to hit a winner on
Every ball, when just being steady, consistent, meat and potatoes, would be enough to win.Ninety percent of the time. You don’t have to be the best in the world every time you go out there. You just have to be better than one guy. Instead of you succeeding, make him fail.You’re making everyone around you miserable. You’re making yourself miserable. Perfection? There’s about five times a year you wake up perfect, when you can’t lose to anybody, but it’s not those five times a year that make a tennis player. Or a human being, for that matter. It’s the other times. It’s all about your head, man. With your talent, if you’re fifty percent game-wise, but ninety-five percent headwise, you’re going to win. But if you’re ninety-five percent game-wise and fifty percent headwise, you’re going to lose, lose, lose.
(Perfectionism is tiring and unnecessary all the time! His coach whom he met for the first time giving opinion on his game)
22. This contradiction between what I want to do and what I actually do, feels like the core of my life.(The biggest question )
23. Thinking, my father believes, is the source of all bad things, because thinking is the opposite of doing.
24. I loved the concept of hard work leading to sweet rewards—except when hard work meant hitting tennis balls.
25. When you know that you just took the other guy’s best punch, and you’re still standing, and the other guy knows it, you will rip the heart right out of him.(Blister on an opponent’s mind)
26. The whole place looks a lot better from a distance. What doesn’t?
27. No. Absolutely not. Help from him comes with a cost. I’m trying to break free of him.
(Dilemma to ask for help from his father)
28. To be inspired, I tell Philly—that’s the secret.
29. I don’t know. But you will. This is a momentary crisis, Andre. One of many. As sure as we’re sitting here, there will be others. Bigger, smaller, and everything in between. Treat this crisis as practice for the next crisis.(Words of Wisdom, nothing we experience goes waste, even crisis)
30. I learn about myself, create myself, through imitation. How else could I do it? (Honesty, we choose to make ourselves)
31. I’m astonished by how much they care. I’m astonished by how much I care that they get it right.(Honesty, on media)
32. How beautiful to dream. But dreams, I tell Gil, in one of our quiet moments, are so damned tiring.
33. She fixes delicious meals at night, and in the morning she packs box lunches for me to bring to the practice courts.
34. It’s not selfishness on her part, just a mistaken impression that winning is normal, losing is abnormal.(Both are normal)
35. Pride is bad, stress is good. I don’t want to feel confident. I want to feel rage. Endless, all-consuming rage.(Summer of Revenge)
36. In the long, losing struggle with myself, I’m tanking.(Incessant altercation with your own self)
37. This is the only perfection there is, the perfection of helping others
38. Love is how we grow up.
39. Decisions, especially bad ones, create their own kind of momentum, and momentum can be a bitch to stop, as every athlete knows. The minds of the everlasting gods are not changed suddenly.(To master our Momentum is all that is required)
40. It’s embarrassing, but necessary, because I don’t want to lose her, I’ve had enough losing, and I know if I’m honest she’ll give me a second chance.(Confession)
41. She says that she’s sorry I’m suffering, but she can’t solve it. She can’t fix me. I need to fix myself. By myself.(Realisation)
42. If you’re heartbroken, Gil says, don’t hide from it. Wallow in it. We hurt, he says, so let’s hurt.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Fight!
The fight shouldnt be to be the BEST from being GOOD, instead it shd be from being GOOD to GOOD ENOUGH...
Friday, November 12, 2010
Change Is Good
Sometimes the importance of change seems so indispensible coz when it doesn’t happen it brings one’s life to a standstill.
It is like a check which sometimes act as a tough teacher asking you to hold on to your believes and directs you to move on in life even though you would want to stick to your current state but it renders you helpless and introduces dynamism in the ecosystem which forcefully makes you to wake up from your pseudo slumber and shake your illusionary world.
Most of us find it difficult to take this lesson the easier way but some of us toil and take it on.
Even with those flimsy and shaken believes intentionally/unintentionally we rebound. There is nothing which can be done to stop it from doing its work. Just nothing…
So when next time if you are going through rough or not so welcoming CHANGE, stop, think and THANK GOD for blessing you with a tough teacher. The more you interact with it the more you get an option and a reason to learn about yourself.
Bad Change Is Good
And also
It is always easier said than Done..! :-)
It is like a check which sometimes act as a tough teacher asking you to hold on to your believes and directs you to move on in life even though you would want to stick to your current state but it renders you helpless and introduces dynamism in the ecosystem which forcefully makes you to wake up from your pseudo slumber and shake your illusionary world.
Most of us find it difficult to take this lesson the easier way but some of us toil and take it on.
Even with those flimsy and shaken believes intentionally/unintentionally we rebound. There is nothing which can be done to stop it from doing its work. Just nothing…
So when next time if you are going through rough or not so welcoming CHANGE, stop, think and THANK GOD for blessing you with a tough teacher. The more you interact with it the more you get an option and a reason to learn about yourself.
Bad Change Is Good
And also
It is always easier said than Done..! :-)
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